The Halfway Point
Recently I celebrated my 45th birthday. Besides all of the usual thoughts and comments of “Where did all the time go?”, and ” I still feel like I’m in my early 30’s” (well in some ways- not in how tired I get in my knees in the morning- oy vey!), I also look at the fact that I really am middle aged now. I am indeed in the middle of my time on earth, assuming I live to be at least as old as my Aunt Mary. I stand here in the center- looking back at all I have done and experienced in my life, and looking ahead at what these next years ahead of me might be filled with.
It’s quite poetic that I am also just past the halfway point of the trial employment period with my friend’s company. So far, both she and her executive VP have been pleased with what I have brought to the company- as far as structure and planning. I’ve recruited some talented interns and have begun crafting policy and procedure for the company. Although I do feel a valuable member of the team, I’m still not certain of my long time, permanent future with the company and organization. I do, know, however, that what ever way things turn out, I will continue to have some involvement with her organization.
I need to assess at this point in my life if I’d rather be doing something I completely know how to do, with ultimate confidence, but that might not be quite as creatively stimulating, or whether I’d like to be doing something that utilizes my management skills that I know I do have, in addition to my creative input, but that might be in several areas that are new to me- in which I might not possess the innate knowlege that bolsters my confidence. Both situations present their own unique set of challenges.
I still have about a month left in my trial employment period, and I intend to play it out as scheduled. My other possible opportunity may not become an opportunity until late spring or early summer, so for now I am taking things one day at a time, doing my best to be present in the current moment.
Being present in the current moment is usually a reccomendable tactic, as it taking one day at a time. I have some other friends going through tough times and times of transition right now, and that it what I always tell them- “Take things one day at a time- if that’s too rough, take things one hour at a time, if that’s too rough, take things one moment at a time”. I’ve had them tell me that those thoughts have gotten them through particularly stressful periods.
Sometimes life events play themselves out the way they will, no matter how much we try to orchestrate them. I would hope that one of the wisdoms that come with age is the ability to sit still and and really accept that old saying “It is what it is”.
So here I sit-at the halfway point, in more ways than one. I am doing my best to just be here- where I am.
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